"Tomorrow when you say "I do," I'll die. I'm almost ashamed to tell you why...I love to cry at weddings, how I love to cry at weddings. I walk into a chapel and get happily hysterical. The ushers and attendants, the family dependents, I see them and I start to sniff. Have you an extra handkerchief? And all through the service, while the bride and groom look nervous, tears of joy are streaming down my face. I love to cry at weddings, anybody's wedding. Any time, any where, any place."
"I Love to Cry at Weddings," from Sweet Charity, lyrics by Dorothy Fields.
This is a strange study of opposites. My opinions make no sense, but so be it.
Generally speaking, I eschew weddings. I just don't like them. All the frou-frou seems silly and ridiculous. Those bridesmaids are never going to wear those dresses again, and what is it with the throwing of the bouquet anyway? The money that some of these couples put out is just insane. And for what? A 50% divorce rate?
Yet, whenever I find myself at a wedding, I want to cry.
This weekend Andy and I attended his niece's nuptials. I started to choke up just seeing the groom walk his mother down the aisle. Thankfully I didn't really break down. (It was only my third official event with Andy's exceedingly large Cuban family, and as one of just two gringoes (the groom being the other), I want to fit in.)
The dichotomy of my thoughts and actions continues.
As a gay "community," we've been promoting for marriage rights for years. It's never been a big issue for me, as I think the strategy of marriage vs. some other legal structure wasn't necessarily the way to go. But it is what it is.
Plus I've never had any desire to get married myself. I don't need a government agency or religious institution to validate my relationship.
But on the other hand...
I'm getting married on May 21.
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Even though I don't like all the trappings of weddings, as the bride was walking down the aisle this past weekend, I thought, "If I was walking down the aisle like this, I'd want the wedding march from The Sound of Music playing.
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I tried to find a good YouTube clip of "I Love to Cry at Weddings" from the last revival of Charity, but no luck. But for your viewing enjoyment, watch this clip of Bebe Neuwirth singing "I'm a Brass Band" from Charity (she was in the 1980s revival of the show, incidentally).