Pen and Ink

The delightful Mrs. Palfrey.

Just an update to my posting from the other day:

I thought it was very weird that I had not seen any promotion for Mrs. Palfrey at the Claremont. No ads in the times, no commercials, nada.

When I got to work on Monday, I mentioned it to my colleague Judy, because I thought it was a film she might like. She went on Netflix and said that it was already there, and that it had been released in 2005.

I wonder why it was showing in a first-run movie theater over the weekend.

So anyway, go. Rent.

Frankly my dear...

I'm too exhausted to write.

There's a lot -- and I mean a lot -- going on at work. I can't talk about it, so forgive me for not elaborating. On top of that, my ex is preparing to move out of the house next week.

So I find myself managing stressor after stressor after stressor. The bad part is that I'm not really inspired to write at the moment.

Hope y'all are having a good week.

Friendship without agenda.

Once in a great while I will go to the movie theater and watch whatever film is playing next. Or I will see something because it sounds interesting and without commercials, ads, or critical reviews influencing my decisions. Broadcast News with William Hurt and Holly Hunter and The American President with Michael Douglas and Annette Bening are two that I found in this manner. Both moviegoing experiences were wonderful and they -- and the films themselves -- remain as good memories. (The American President is one of my favorite films.)

Now I can add Mrs. Palfrey at the Claremont to the list.

John and I decided to go to a movie for date night on Saturday. I looked online to see what was playing and I found Mrs. Palfrey and just a two line description. It sounded nice and when I told John that Joan Plowright was featured, he readily agreed.

It's the story of an old woman who recently moves to London to be closer to her daughter and grandson, but who, for the first time, is living her life for herself -- and not as a daughter, wife or mother. One day after running an errand, she trips and falls on the street, and is assisted by Ludovic Meyer, a young writer and street performer, played by newcomer Rupert Friend (who is totally captivating on screen for many reasons.)

To repay his kindness, Mrs. Palfrey (Plowright) invites him to dinner at The Claremont, the residential hotel in which she is staying and which is populated by a group of quirky, idiosyncratic older folks who add to the movie's charm.

The denizens of The Claremont assume that Ludo is Mrs. Palfrey's grandson Desmond, who has yet to respond to his grandmothers efforts to reach out to him. To save face, Mrs. Palfrey doesn't dispel the mistaken identity, and Ludo agrees to go along with the ruse.

And here begins the beauty of this wonderful film. It's about a friendship between two people, two generations apart. They become grandmother and grandson without agenda. They come to enjoy each other's friendship without expectation and without asking for anything in return.

The atmosphere in our theater at the film's conclusion was typical for any great film. Silence. No one moved as the final credits rolled. The film's leisurely pace, wonderful acting and warm story enthralled everyone in the theater and as people started to stir, I overheard many people saying how beautiful the film was.

This is definitely one that I'll buy on DVD.

Quid pro quo.

Last week my friend S emailed and asked for my help with something. He had to put together a fundraising solicitation letter as a writing test, and he asked for my guidance, as he had never written such a thing before.

Without hesitation I told him that I would be happy to help him. I can write those things in my sleep, practically.

I emailed him some points about structuring letters. What to include and where. What to avoid. That kind of thing.  He thanked me, wrote his letter and sent it to me to review (he did a really great job).

A day or two later he sent me another email, thanking me once again for my help.

I should say that I am accustomed to reciprocal favours. Scratch my back...you know.
So, whenever someone does something for me, it takes me aback; especially
when this said person has no real secret agenda.

This got me to thinking about the nature of favors. And of kindness.

It's really a shame that we've gotten to a point that when we are asked for a favor, that we assume that the person doing the asking has to give something in return, that there is an automatic quid pro quo built into all of our deeds.

What happened to simply doing something nice for someone just because they asked?

S and I know each other through our blogs and through telephone conversations. We've not yet met in person. But he seems like a really good person, so why wouldn't I help him out? Besides, as a fundraiser, what I do ultimately helps people. Fundraising is not something that everyone can or likes to do, so when I'm asked to assist, I generally say yes. It's about helping people.

I don't expect anything back from S, other than to continue being a good person. That's all we should ask from anyone.

In the end, we'll get more than we ever gave out.

Resolutions.

Last December, as I was in flight to New Jersey to visit my family for Christmas, I made my New Year's resolutions. Wrote them down even.

It was a difficult trip, as it was my first Christmas away from Mike, my ex-partner. I thought quite a bit about what I wanted in the coming year. What could I do for myself that would bring me some joy in 2006.

One of those resolutions -- moving into a new home that I decorate completely to my taste -- simply won't happen. The old home hasn't sold.

The second resolution I will write about in December, as that is when it will be fulfilled.

The final resolution was this: lose 20 pounds and feel comfortable going shirtless.

It's not the most difficult goal, seemingly, but it's one that eluded me. Well, no longer. Last Sunday, I too action and rejoined the gym. Yes, I was actually able to find it and I even remembered how to turn on the Precor eliptical machine. I did a little bit of lifting and then treated myself to a steam.

It felt really great, physically and psychologically. Since my break-up 16 months ago, I've let myself go physically. That has to stop.

Tomorrow, I return to my yoga classes and I'll be on my way to fulfilling one of my resolutions.

Getting settled.

Moving to a new home, whether it's in the next town, the next state, or even another country, disrupts one's life.

There's so much to get used to and to do. Where do I find a doctor? What's the best grocery store? Where are the good restaurants? Where do all the cute guys hang out?

And then there's the matter of setting up a new household. The bookcases don't all fit in the new study. The champagne flutes that fit so perfectly in the kitchen cupboard in the old house are just too tall for the new kitchen. Where am I going to store the porn library?

With all that there is do to, to think about, to decide, does anyone ever stop and think about pets? What must they go through when their lives are disrupted by a move?

My friend Bernardo packed up and moved to Panama last month. We've had some email exchanges since he's been gone and then two weeks ago, he called for an extended chat.

His partner had just left Panama to return back to Boston after a week of getting his belongings back from the shipper and helping Bernardo set up the new household. Things were finally settling down, and B finally had time to catch up with his friends.

I asked him about his miniature schnauzer, affectionately known as my niece.

How's Abbey?

Well, she's had to adjust.

To what?

Stairs.

All of her life, Abbey lived in South Florida in a ranch-style home. We rarely do stairs here, at least not in residential homes. Moving to a two-story condo in Panama City, she had to get used to the idea of an elevator, and she's had to learn how to navigate stairs for the first time.

It's really funny watching her from behind going up and down the stairs.

I bet. I would have loved to watch her.

Think about your life, Pippin.

Some old friends were back Saturday evening, at least for a couple of hours.

Leading Player, Charlamagne, Berthe, Fastrada, Lewis, Catherine, and of course, Pippin. This theater queen was excited to have a chance to see a production of Pippin over the weekend.

OK, so the sound system sucked, mics kept going in and out, and I wasn't wild about the set, but still, it was Pippin.

The musical by Stephen Schwartz first appeared in 1972. I never got to see it on Broadway, but saw a high school production in 1979. And happily, there's a filmed version of a live performance with Ben Vareen, William Katt, Martha Raye, Leslie Denniston, and the amazing Chita Rivera (still available on DVD).

As community theater goes, this performance was good. The guy playing Leading Player, I thought, was good (although John thought he played it just a bit too angry). Shane Blanford, who played Pippin, was right on the mark and yummy as hell. Almost everyone in a lead part, I thought, did a great job.

The only thing missing was the great number that Fastrada sings -- "Spread a Little Sunshine." Apparently, the actress playing the part had a family emergency and had to leave town -- just hours before the performance Saturday night. I credit the company's artistic director, Jodie Dixon-Mears, for stepping in at the last minute. Without the missing song, you'd never know she hadn't rehearsed the role.

So it was good to see these old friends again. But when are they ever going to be back on Broadway?

From words on a piece of paper.

Play Idea: 4 characters -- a string quartet. We follow this quartet through their rehearsals (& performance?). The music mirrors their personal engagements, relationships, entanglements, perhaps breakdowns.

These words, written on a blue scrap of paper in March 2003, were the genesis of Opus, a new play I saw Friday evening at the Florida Stage.

The final product on stage pretty much mirrors the initial idea that playwright Michael Hollinger scribbled on that blue scrap of paper.

I wasn't sure what to expect frankly. Give me a choice between a straight play and a musical, and I'll take the latter any day of the week. Last weekend John and I went to see Moonlight & Magnolias, and to be honest, I wasn't impressed. A producer, a director, and a writer, locked in an office for a week rewriting the script for Gone With The Wind. Ho hum. I learn anything -- or care -- about the three characters at all.

Not so with Opus. All five of the members of the quartet (one gets fired and subsequently replaced) were fully interesting and likeable, even at their worst. I felt their pain, their frustration, their fear. Good writing and great acting.

If you ever get the chance, go see this wonderful work.

Personal freedom.

I've started reading a blog -- My New Life -- by a guy named Tom from Virginia. When I'm looking at blogs, I often will check out the links that the authors have placed on their site. It's a great way to find other cool things out here in Blogville.

So there I was looking at Tom's site. I clicked on a link that said "Summary: The Four Agreements."

I found an overview of the work of don Miguel Ruiz. He writes about the source of self-limiting beliefs that rob us of joy and create needless suffering. His "Four Agreements" are based on the wisdom of the Toltecs, known as  ancient men and women of women. They were artists, scientists and philosophers of tenth-century Mexico.

Normally, I don't go for a lot of this "personal help" kind of silliness. Just live your life as a good person, I say. But I really liked The Four Agreements.

1. Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don't take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don't make assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always do your best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgement, self-abuse and regret.

The problem we have.

We interrupt our regularly scheduled blog for a little rant.

If you've been reading this site for any length of time, you know that I read the New York Times daily. Often I rip out things that intrigue me, amuse me, infuriate me.

This post is about the latter.

After Foleygate broke, there was a piece about evangelicals blaming Foley, not the GOP, for the problems currently facing the Grand Old Party. (With any luck the lights are about to come on in this country and that sad party is about to be over for awhile.)

The article quotes some religious whack-job saying that he was leaning toward voting Republican in the coming election and that the Foley scandal only served to reinforce his conservative Christian convictions. Fine, he can have all the convictions he wants. It's what he said next that really got to me.

That is the problem we have in society. Nobody polices anybody. Everybody has a 'right' to do whatever.

Oh. My. God. Did this lunatic really say that? Did this man ever read the Constitution? Does he even have a basic understanding of why this country was founded in the first place?

As far as I'm concerned, there are too many conservative Christian nutcases people policing everyone they don't agree with, everyone who is not a clone of themselves. These poor, repressed souls worry too much about what other people are doing in the privacy of their bedrooms, who they marry, what they read, what they watch on TV, what movies they see, so on and so on and so on.

They should police themselves and no one else. We absolutely have the right to do what we want within a lawful society. That's the foundation of this country.

The article also quotes some picklehead, who, as a mechanical engineer should have some modicum of intelligence. This self-described fundamentalist said, "But there is a bigger moral issue which I would say is the prism I view this [Foleygate] through: I do not believe in homosexuality."

Well, what's to believe? Homosexuals exist. We have for centuries. He doesn't have to be gay himself, but we exist.

What I believe is that these people are idiots.

Now we return to our regularly scheduled blog, the next posting on which will probably be a review of the shows I am seeing tonight and tomorrow. Have a glorious weekend.