Pen and Ink

A tear in her eye.

Yesterday morning at work we had a board meeting and retreat.  It was my last official meeting with the board of directors that I pretty much assembled.

As I look back at my years in this job that I'm now leaving, my biggest sense of accomplishment is the board. They had cancelled half of their meetings in the year prior to my arrival, due to lack of interest pretty much.  

When I took over, I built it up dramatically, and I have to say, it is a MAJOR group now.  I was able to get some boldface names in the business community.

Even though I resigned on Monday, we withheld telling the board so that they could hear it as a group. But on Thursday, I told one of the guys, with whom I was having a meeting.  And then I called one of the women.

This power player in the South Florida business community is one of the last people I recruited. We've know each other for a couple of years and are the same age.  We've developed a very nice working relationship, wrapped in warmth and playfulness.  (I believe playfulness is a key ingredient in success in life.)

So I called M before the board meeting, starting the conversation with, "I need you to act surprised tomorrow..."  She was surprised into silence when I told her over the phone that I had resigned.

During the meeting, as my board chair was announcing my departure and future plans, I couldn't look at people. When I did, J, another women with whom I'm working closely, looked at me and mouthed, "Your leaving????"  Said aloud, it would have come out as a shout.

And then, in the back of the room, was M.  I couldn't see her face directly, but two people reported that when my departure was being announced, she had a tear in eye.

Business relationships rarely elicit such responses, so I'm really touched. 

We become.

What we think, we become.

-- Buddah

I flipped through a book on presentation design just now and a page with this quote jumped out at me. It's so appropriate for what's going on right now.

My life is about to change dramatically.

For the past year, I've been thinking a lot about the idea of entrepreneurship.  As I've written in the past, I have been intimately involved with the launch of a brand new culinary school at work. Details are proprietary, but let's just say there's nothing like it out there.  

I've been working with the school director, a chef who has owned restaurant and entertainment concepts, who is one of the most creative people I've met. We've become great "sparring partners," in his words.  We bandy ideas and concepts around for hours.  None of it is in my job description, mind you, but it's been so creative and fun.

And it's opened up my mind to entrepreneurship, and creating something for myself.

Last summer, I was offered a consulting gig for an organization on the west coast. The experience was fantastic and I received such amazing feedback from my client.  So for the past few months, I've been working with the same client on related projects.  I'm loving it.

So with the encouragement of friends, family and some consulting partners, I have launched my own non-profit consulting company.  And if that's not enough, I am working with a couple of business partners to develop another company that will provide a service to the non-profit community.

The dramatic change, though, is that I have decided to do all this full time.  I will be giving up a steady paycheck to pursue these dreams.

It's scary, of course.  But I'm a careful planner, so I think it will be alright.

Standing at the kitchen counter the other morning, Andy and I were talking with my sister, who is visiting, about what day to submit my resignation.  Andy, ever the cautious one, expressed concern about giving up a paycheck.

But my little sister, bless her, looked at me and said, "Everything you have ever touched in your entire life as turned to gold. You make people fall in love with you. You will be successful at this and you should just do it.

So yesterday, I resigned from my job.

I think I am a consultant, so I will become a consultant.

Some sort of bug.

It seems that whenever I commit myself to working out, I only get just so far before something happens to derail me.  A nasty head cold knocks me out, or back problems send me to bed.

Generally, it takes a few weeks. The momentum starts to build and I'm feeling good and then bam!

This time it took just 15 minutes.

I followed through on my pledge to hire a trainer.  Ernesto and I were 15 minutes into our first session and he was working my chest and shoulders.  And then I had to stop.  I thought I was going to pass out.

 

It's said that you should eat a little something before working out. I didn't do that out of respect for my dental hygienist, with whom I had an appointment right before my training session.  

I wasn't feeling 100 percent, to be honest. Upon arriving home from Panama, Andy and I both got sick with some sort of bug.  An intestinal thing. (That description should suffice, don't you think?).  One of our friends in Panama came down with the same thing.

But I was feeling fine enough by Tuesday to start with Ernesto.  Apparently not.

Things got worse as the week went by. Little appetite, some of the symptoms returning, a lack of energy, and way too much sleep.  By Friday, I finally broke down and went to the doctor.  After a lively conversation about poo-poo (my doctor has a funny sense of humor; "poo-poo" was her word, not mine), she put me on some antibiotics and a bland diet (bread, rice, pasta...yay!).  The whole conversation (sans poo-poo) was repeated with Andy on Saturday morning.

The antibiotics are taking their time kicking in. I've been sluggish all weekend.  After a couple of errands yesterday, Andy and I came home and cut the grass and some other minor yard work. That put us down for the rest of the day (the 93 degree blazing temps might have had a little to do with it as well). 

Today, I'm trying to get some project work done and rally for a dinner party this evening.  I need to get past this. Ernesto is waiting.

Tom Dolby kept me up all night.

One of the great things about vacation is the ability to do things that you rarely get to do normally.  For me, that's stay up until the wee hours of the morning reading a book.

There's an entire shelf in my bookcase at home filled with unread books. And it's not a neat shelf, as there are too many books crammed into the space.

Packing for Panama, I grabbed five books.  I figured with a week on the beach and then a few days of quiet in the mountain, that I would probably go through five.

I went through three of them at the beach, including one that I had previously read (obviously, it didn't get filed on the proper shelf).

On my last night in Panama, we went to bed early -- around 9:30. Andy was watching a film on his iPad, so I grabbed Tom Dolby's The Sixth Form. It's a coming of age story set in a boarding school in Massachusetts.  I won't go into details about the story, but you can find out more here. 

 
 
 The characters drew me in and I kept reading and reading and reading. There was no clock in the room and my iPhone, which I use as a watch, had been stored away for the past week and a half. 

I ended up finishing the book in one sitting -- I can't remember the last time I even did that!! After getting up to use the bathroom and turn off the light, I managed to see Andy's watch:  1 a.m.!!!

When I read a good book, one that lets me escape to another place for a few hours, I feel a sense of relaxation. Actually, it feels like I had been on vacation.

That's what I felt like, laying in bed in the middle of the night. Unfortunately, the unfamiliar creatures of the rain forest where we were staying kept me awake for an undetermined amount of time. But the great feeling of escape was well worth the sleeplessness.

Resolute.

The first day home from a long vacation is like New Year's Day. I'm full of resolutions: things I want to do, things I want to change.

I've made a decision while on vacation:  I need to do something about my physical health.

When confronted with a mirror, I tend to close my eyes. And if you were to look at the hundreds of photos taken during this trip, you will only find one of me.

Seeing myself in the mirror I go, "BLECH!"  Frankly, I look like shit.

Now anyone who has read this blog for any period of time may recall that I've talked about this before. (Kev, if you're reading this, you're probably chuckling.)

Having time away from daily life and having the opportunity to get inside my head and do some soul searching.

I was thinking back about seven years ago when I rode my bicycle often, practiced yoga twice a week and took Pilates mat classes twice a week.  Those were things I really enjoyed and I felt so much better back then.  I didn't necessarily think I looked great, but then again, we are our own worst critics.

While at the beach house, we took a yoga class. Some of the poses were challenging, as I have not practiced in about three years.  (I didn't even think about attempting the plow, which is a position I really enjoyed in the past.)

So I've made some decisions:

1. I am going to restart my yoga practice. It's great exercise for both the body and the mind.

2. I am going to start riding my bike more. I had it tuned up right before vacation, so I'm ready to go.

3. I am going to start a diet again. Andy and I are doing it together (no carbs for eight weeks!!). That should help.

4. And lastly, I am going to start going to the gym (stop laughing Kev). But this time, I am going to hire a trainer, something that I have never done before. Andy and Cary have been working with the same guy and they really like him. So I'm going to make the investment. That should force me to actually go.

There are more resolutions about other things in my life, but more about that in another post. 

Revving up.

Somewhere I heard a definition of vacation: to vacate one's life (hopefully not permanently).

I'm hours from ending a 13-day visit to Panama. We spent a week in a gorgeous house on a remote beach in Playa la Barqueta, about an eight-hour drive from Panama City.  And for the past couple of days, we've been hanging out with our friends at their lovely home in the rain forest.

Fortunately, I'm someone who can truly unplug from life while on vacation. While I did check personal email, keep in touch with friends on Facebook, and do a little blogging, I didn't spent my days on the computer.  I enjoyed long walks on the beach and letting myself be absorbed in a couple of books.  (I highly recommend Carol Burnett's new This Time Together, a wonderful collection of stories from her life and amazing career.)

I use these times away (generally twice a year, including Christmas holidays), to reenergize my mind and soul and I come back all revved up for the coming six months. This time is no exception.

We arrive home this evening (Wednesday) and I had the foresight to take Thursday off.  It's a good thing, because I come home with a lot on my mind.  There are some major projects to do and some really major decisions to be made.

This vacation came at a perfect time, because I realize now how absolutely overloaded I was. I could not make the decisions that I need to make without having taken a break.

While I wish vacations could go on longer, I'm ready for the next five months.  Bring it on!

At water's edge.

Yesterday Andy and I took the kids to the beach.  It was a rare appearance for me.  (The irony of living just a few mere miles from the ocean is that I rarely get there. The price to be paid for actually having a life.)

It was a hot June day, and the water had a warm embrace (they say this isn't necessarily a good thing for June -- warmer water can lead to hurricanes).  We were at the beach for two hours and I spent the entire time in the water.  

 

Water has always been able to cast a spell on me. The ocean, a lake, a pond (but not the pool).  I suspect maybe because it's like a mother's womb...warm, nurturing, protective.

Whatever it is, water just sends creative energy through my body, like waves of electricity.  Yesterday as I floated, I wrote three blog posts in my head (this one included). Ideas came to me for a big project I'm working on.  And I redesigned part of the gardens in my back yard.  All while I was in the water.

I wish there was a way to capture the feeling and carry it around with me all the time.

Meandering through life.

Sunday's a lazy day for me, so here's a gentle meandering through my life lately. I offer this to bring my handful of readers up to speed, since I haven't been writing lately.

Chi-Town here I come:  I'm headed to Chicago in a couple of weeks for a conference. The meeting will be great, but the best part is that I will be in one of our country's greatest cities. Sure, it will be March and still cold as hell. But it's Chicago. And that's good enough.

TV show: Our culinary TV show is on a slight hold while we work through some political nonsense on campus.

Techie guy: With some new money coming in, I went out and splurged on a new Apple Cinema Monitor and a MacBook Pro to go along with it. That may explain why I've been writing...I'm in love with the huge 24 inch monitor. 

Vacation plans: Bernardo and Greg were up from Panama last week. In between concerts (Honeyboy Edwards -- amazing at 94; Gladys Knight -- still going strong, and Joan Rivers -- still funny as shit), we discussed taking a vacation together this summer.  We travelled so well together on the cruise last year that we wanted to spend that kind of time with each other again. So I think we've settled on Panama for two weeks this summer. Yes, they live there, but there are coastal regions of the country they have yet to see, so that's what we're going to do.

Something new: I don't want to say much, but I can't say nothing -- I'm very excited that I have incorporated a consulting practice. I'm not going to do much with it for the next couple of years, but in time I have some big plans. It's too cool!

Next up: Next weekend will be busy with the opening of the Miami International Film Festival (they have me "hosting" two of the screenings, tickets for Wicked (again) with Susan and Emma, and a birthday dinner for a friend. 

Near death.

Yesterday I commented on the death of Met Home magazine.  However, I had intended that post to be about something different.

For a few weeks now, I've been writing -- in my head -- the obituary of this blog.  Before yesterday, it had been weeks since I had blogged.

Work is busier than it has been in years.  I've joined two boards and am working on another new endeavor that I can't write about.  The blog has taken a back seat to all of this.  I just haven't had the energy to write.

But reading about Met Home yesterday caused me to write. As my fingers moved across the keyboard, I made a decision not to shut this down. 

I'm not deriving income from this site, so does it really matter if I write regularly?  If anyone reads it?  I know there are a few of you out there, but when I look at the Site Meter stats, I see most of the visitors are coming from Googles image search engine.  So in actuality, there aren't many people reading.

I could change that -- and likely will -- by linking this site to my Facebook page.  But I need to segregate my friends list so that people I know from work don't see postings to this site. 

This blog still means something to me. Part of me has been saying, "something's gotta give.  It's ok to end the blog. No one said you have to do it forever."

Yet another part of me still likes it.  So, if you're still reading, stick with me.  I'll write as I have the creative energy to do so.  Plus, I think I can come up with some funny posts once we start production on the TV show.

Lil ole me...on TV.

In yesterday's post I made mention of the new culinary school I am helping to develop.  I will be writing more on this subject in the days and weeks to come, but here's a little bit of news:

I will be co-hosting a television show!

The college has a television station, just a local cable station, but it is also carried on the web.  The director of the school will be developing a culinary-focused show for the station, and has asked me to co-host it with him.  We've been working very creatively and energetically together, so he thinks it would be fun to do this with me.

Even though this actually came up some months ago, we haven't started development of the show. So I don't know exactly what it's going to look like.  But we're planning to take to the airwaves in May.

Details and links to come!